I’m coming out for the third time in my life, and it’s as a Twilight stan. One summer in college when I was very bored (Grindr hadn’t been invented yet) I read Stephenie Meyer’s low-key Mormon supernatural romance saga, but I wasn’t truly hooked until Twilight hit theaters later that year.
The film franchise stepped up to the enormous task of making Meyer’s books cool (over the span of all four books, Bella makes several references to wearing khakis, and this way long before Sza made them cool), and The Twilight Saga is something I love to revisit once a year or so. The movies get steadily more batshit insane as they progress: the penultimate film, Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is straight up body horror and the terror of Part 2’s CGI baby cannot be understated. Plus, they had cool soundtracks! “Decode” by Paramore slaps hard.
Four films, one cheating scandal and so many longing stares later, Twilight has all but faded to the periphery of pop culture, but it’s only a matter of time until it’s rebooted. Sexy vampires mania is like herpes, it always comes back. And bisexual pop star Halsey thinks it’s about time for a Twilight reboot — a gay one.
“I miss when vampires were cool can we make vampires cool again,” the singer tweeted on Monday, to which a follower suggested “Twilight 4 ft halsey and kristen stewart now that i would watch.”
Halsey’s response? “Twilight but make it Gay.” Imagine it: Edward and Jacob finally hook up and kick Bella to the curb, so she buzzes off her hair and turns her attention to a sexy high femme vampire played by Halsey. Also, the film takes place in the same universe as A Star Is Born and Robert Pattinson pisses himself.